This is something that has been heavy on my heart for a while now, and this post is emotionally charged. Consider yourself warned. <3
I've come to notice, as a whole, our society is incredibly headstrong. We have barricaded ourselves in with others who believe the same as us, and shun anyone who dares to question us. To me, this says something drastic about society. If we cannot take advice from one another, how on earth can we learn from one another?! There are several things i feel very passionate about. Breastfeeding, keeping babies whole, carseat safety, just to name a few.. And trust me, if any of these apply to you, i am going to ask you if you have researched, offer some statistics, and see if i can support you in any way. But how will you react? Experience has told me that majority is going to react with defense. When someone first pointed out to me that Brice was not properly buckled in his carseat i blew them off to shut them up. I kept him in a harness longer than his father, because he felt too small to be in a booster at barely 2. Wasn't that enough? As i sat home later that week, i thought... maybe i SHOULD read up on this. Research quickly pointed out that he should be rearfacing, with snug straps, and a chest clip instead of a belly clip. How lucky we were that he was uninjured. However, when i point out to a mom that their child is not properly buckled, i generally get blown off as well. I point out safe options, i offer to help install, they don't want it. "baby doesn't like facing backwards, he wants to see, and i don't want to hear him fuss" is what i'm told. i don't know about you... but i would rather have a fussy child, than a internally decapitated one...
As I watch my friends circumcise their boys, I literally go home and cry. I refuse to come around the week of the surgery, because it is just too heartbreaking to me. How can someone do this to their children? How can you be so blind to not read the statistics?! When i point out information to them, i am told "he should be like the other boys." 68% of american boys are intact. 90% worldwide. She shakes her head no, and dismisses me. It is very hard for me to respect their choices, but i take a step back, and just distance my self a little. I have failed this baby, by not showing his mother the true harm of it, but there is nothing i can do. Society has trained her to not listen to facts, but stereotypes.
When I push someone to explore our of their own realm of thinking, i am treated as if i am interfering where it is none of my business. I know a lot of other moms are treated the same as well. This saddens me. How can we learn from one another if we cant even take a second to listen to some information, and take the time to research it? We have to break this cycle. Our children, our families, our society, our nation needs us to. When I offer advice to someone about anything, it is not because i am nosy, and need everything to be my way. It is because i CARE. What if I do not speak up, and something happens to that child? What if i do speak up, and it is received with interest? I feel as if we must always attempt to say something because it may make a difference. That difference can save a life.
I was once told, "When we know better, we do better." This is so true. I challenge you to open your mind when someone suggests something to you. And when you see someone doing something unsafe, please, offer them some advice. Even if you know you will probably be shut down, do it anyways. You never know, that person may be open to suggestions too :) Lets shift that headstrong. Let's make it, "Our society is headstrong about advocacy."
